Essays · Strangers

Announcing a Vice Presidential Candidate

So the past few weeks have been utter shit, right? Like, we can all agree? Sure, we all may have had some individual great days and accomplishments, but there have been a whole of awful things. Mass shootings, killings by police officers, killings of police offers, a large truck driven through a crowd watching fireworks, multiple bombings.

In the US, this is all set against a backdrop of a political race for president. It’s been acrimonious and at times I find myself gob smacked by the ridiculous level of discourse. I’ve seen people I respect say some vile things about people who support a candidate in their party that they dislike. It’s not necessarily a new thing, but it’s still disheartening.

But even with the anger and fighting going on in the democratic/socialist/progressive realm, I’d just like to take a moment to point out the level of absurdity the GOP has reached. I thought it couldn’t get any sillier than nominating a racist, misogynistic asshole whose favorite word is his own last name. Don’t get me wrong, the prospect of a Trump presidency is also dangerous as fuck for basically anyone who isn’t a cis straight white male who was born in the US, but it’s also beyond absurd. It’s the plot of a not-that-clever dystopian novel.

And yet it gets worse, because now Mr. Trump has named Mike Pence as his Vice Presidential pick. Before we delve into why that’s a horrible pick for anyone with a uterus, or who loves someone of the same sex, let’s talk about how the announcement was made. While people in Nice were picking their loved ones off the street after being crushed under a giant box truck, Mr. Trump was calling into to CNN to say he was postponing his announcement by a day (and then two) “out of respect.” Dude, respect would have been to issue a statement and then disappear for a couple of days. But no, even when he’s saying he’s not going to talk, he talks. A lot.

Next, there’s this:


Congrats to the 11-year-old Beavis and Butthead fan who won the design contest!

But the real asshole move here is the nomination itself. Mike Pence is awful. Remember back when there was outrage over Indiana passing the “religious freedom restoration act,” a hot turd of a law? That was brought to you by Mr. Pence, governor.

Have you heard of Periods for Pence? It’s fucking beautiful. Here’s a quick overview. Basically, part of one unfathomably unconstitutional and restrictive anti-choice law Mr. Pence signed requires that miscarriages be interred. Like, buried. Since many women miscarry without even knowing it every month, in protest women have been calling his office to report when they get their period, in case there is any chance it might be a miscarriage as well. This is not to make light of miscarriages; it is to point out the absurdity of this law. And now they are targeting Mr. Trump as well.

That’s just a tiny sample of the garbage fire policies this man supports.

Look, I was never going to vote for the Republican nominee, because I like people of all genders. I like people of all sexual preferences. I like people of color. I like immigrants. I like public education and government services like public health. I think health care is a human right. So I’m obviously not the target audience here.

But come on. How not be a jerk when naming a Vice Presidential nominee? Start by not naming Mike Pence.

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